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kitty_and_chicken
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Birthday: 1/1/1900
Interests: Kitty - doing whatever it feels like
Chicken - doing punky things, like saying "punk" at the end of most sentences
Expertise: Kitty - a lot
Chicken - master of all punks (has power over them)
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/22/2004
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| JOKE TIME!!!
Q: How many people does it take to make a combined IQ of 50?
A: Well, there certainly aren't enough people on this planet to do that!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rock with a human?
A: A smart human!
Q: If you eat five chickens today and eat five chickens tommorow, how many chickens have you eaten?
A: Enough for Chicken to hunt you down.
Q: If someone smells like crap, what do you do?
A: Flush them down the toilet!
Q: Kitty's IQ is 0. Chicken's IQ is 5,000,000,000. Who wins in the card game?
A: Kitty.
Chicken: That didn't even make sense!
Kitty: But it's true!
Chicken: SHUT UP!
Kitty: Ha ha, loser. | | |
| CONSPIRACY!!!
After thorough and extensive research by the Kitty and Chicken administration, we have concluded that chicken patties are NOT indeed chicken. Not 100% anyway. In fact, it turns out that the meat in a chicken patty is HUMAN!
That's right! Once in a while, the chicken factories throw in the occasional human, grind em up and get chicken patties. Now you know why they taste the way they do! And we hope you don't think the breading is... well, actually BREADING do you? Cause you see, they use fried human skin flakes for that! Mmm, now you know why we have so many cannibals in this world! Look up any cannibal and you'll see that sometime in their life, they have developed a taste for chicken patties! YOU SEE?! THE GOVERNMENT IS SECRETLY PROMOTING CANNIBALISM! BEWARE! | | |
| Kitty - Our administrator presents a way to get idiots to stop cursing. This is the basic system, so don't think that it'll go into effect if an idiot deserves to have that word said at him or her.
Chicken - Or it. *looks at Kitty*
Kitty - Of course the system isn't out, but wouldn't it be great if it was?!
* ass *
You get slapped in the bare butt with cleets. OUCH! That's gonna leave a few holes!
*bastard*
For girls only. You get punched in the boobs. Ooo! That's gonna leave a mark.
*bitch*
You get kicked in the balls if you're a guy and kicked in the boobs if you're a girl. Better watch who you call that name now!
*fuck*
A giant stick harshly jolts up your butt.
*shit*
Shit gets thrown into your face.
Kitty - Note that this happens out of nowhere. So saying bisch to another girl will cause a girl's chest to feel like someone punched it! Huits!
Chicken - Or a deadly combo is saying "fuckin shit" since you'll feel the pain of a stick going up your butt. Then you'll open your mouth in pain in time for the crap to fly into your - well, you get the idea.
Kitty - Now if only we implemented this into all those annoying wannabe gangsters who say "shit" "fuck" or "bitch" every other word.
Chicken - Heh heh. Then we can have the "WHEN GANGSTERS CURSE BAD!" show or something.
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| One day, young Samurai Kitty made its way to Japan. There, it met with the great dojo master Chicken.
Japanese Chicken - Konichiwa Young Kitty... Kitty... San? Chan?
Japanese Kitty - I'm neither.
Japanese Chicken - Oh. Well in that case, I'll just call you Kitty. AND CALL ME MASTER FOOL!
Japanese Kitty - Gomensai Chicken Teriyaki.
Japanese Chicken - *grumble* So, young Kitty, you have come far and traveled long to study at my dojo, correct?
Japanese Kitty - Actually, I live next door Chicken Teriyaki. Master.
Japanese Chicken - DON'T CORRECT ME! So... you want to become master samurai, yes?
Japanese Kitty - Yes Master.
Japanese Chicken - Hmph! The only way you become better than me is beat the DDR song, Max 300 with a AAA on Heavy- *Japanese Kitty hands Chicken scorecard* !!.... What?! You even beat Maxx Unlimited... Legend of Max... Paranoia Survivor Max... hmm! Impressive! I don't even see why you're here! GET OUT MASTER OF THE WORLD!
And so, Japanese Kitty's quest to become the greatest samurai in the world failed. Again.
One day, young black Kitty was in da HOOD yo.
Black Kitty - Yo yo yo Chicken, my hoe. What up yo?
Black Chicken - ....You're stupid punk.
Black Kitty - We gots da hood, ya hear me G dawg?
Black Chicken - I'm a chicken. And stop talking like a moron you idiot.
Black Kitty - I got mes some bling bling, and gotta shizzle my nizzle.
Black Chicken - You have no nizzle.
Black Kitty - What? Do I have to cap yo ass foo? *Black Chicken takes out a shotgun and blasts black Kitty*
Black guy - HEY! THAT WAS A RACIST KILL YOU MOTHER- oh. Never mind.
Black Chicken - Who's in da hood now punks?!
And so, nothing was accomplished except for killing black Kitty.
One day, Kitty and Chicken were watching a commercial for some shoes and they saw a black basketball player easily outmanuvering Japanese ninjas and samurai.
Chicken - Hey! That's totally unfair and discriminating!
Kitty - YEAH! DAMN THEM! HOW DARE THEY! THOSE NINJAS ARE WEARING BLACK JUST TO SPITE THAT BASKETBALL PLAYER!
Chicken - ...That wasn't what I was talking about punk.
And so, the commerical ended with Kitty learning nothing.
One day, skinhead Kitty walked into a Jewish synagouge.
Skinhead Kitty - I'm here for the KKK to get rid of some dirty Jew- *stops and looks around to see the place full of Jewish Kitties* HEY! ALL YOUSE GUYS BECAME JEWS?! *Walks up to the podium and starts shaking the Jewish priest Kitty* WHY HITLER?! WHY?!?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED YOUR LITTLE CATERPILLAR MUSTACHE!!!
So Skinhead Kitty converted to Judaism and got shot when it walked into its fellow KKK member's clubhouse later the next day. They lose more Kitties that way.
Kitty - Is it just me or are these stories offensive?
Chicken - They look fine to me, as long as Kitties are dying.
Kitty - Hey! | | |
| Kitty - Hmm, let's test out this new Joke Machine! *Throws in some strawberries*
What do you get when you cross decaying human bodies with unidentifiable crap (literally)? Joseph!
Chicken - Ha! You call that funny? Watch this! *Throws in turkey meat*
Joseph speaks and says, "I like food" *The joke machine explodes and Kitty and Chicken has a heart attack simutaneiously with a stroke and blood clots*
Better wait for Kitty and Chicken to recover... | | |
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